Alas, I offer you my latest recording of “RIVER”… a song written about a woman I loved…
This was partially inspired by Esther Perel and her research on relationships where she shared that in almost every relationship, one person is afraid to lose themselves and the other is afraid to lose the other person.
The opening line “if stress is a killer” was inspired by Dr. Gabor Maté where he explains that stress literally causes damage to your cells and is directly linked to many different kinds of chronic illness including cancer.
This song flowed out of me as I wrestled to know if my current relationship was healthy… whether it would work for us both to be free to be ourselves while we fought to love each other… ideally with our whole hearts.
There was a time in our relationship where I was told that she felt “watered down”… this burned me. I don’t believe it was meant to be hurtful but the fact that me being me wasn’t allowing her to be her was confusing, frustrating, and disheartening. We both fought to try and allow each other to be free and the reality is that there were many times when I truly did feel very supported.
Aggghhhhh… relationships can be tricky eh? And I have heard many couples share a similar story. I think that one of the most important keys is to constantly be open, honest & vulnerable… with yourself and each other. And although this particular relationship didn’t end up in a happily ever after fairy tale, I thought it may be important for people to hear (and my current partner actually really encouraged me to record it).
FUN FACT: “RIVER” was written on a picnic table at Schoolhouse Beach on the California coastline during my road trip in 2024 as I took a Leadership course down there.
LYRICS
If stress is a killer then love can us heal
Turn to me babe so your heart I can feel
Don’t be discouraged this river will bend
Doesn’t have to end here – it can flow we can mend
How will we know – oooh oooh oooh
Can I have you and not lose myself
Is it one or the other – is it fight or flight
Because I love you with most of my heart
How much can I give to where it still feels right
Because our knowers are the flares where there’s peace and life
Don’t water me down ‘cause I need to be free
Follow your nudges and take what you need
I know who I am – who I need to be
Let’s see if we can water all of our seeds
Bridges need to be built
With time and trust and safety
So keep your heart open and eyes on the things that you love
That you love….
CREDITS
released April 15, 2026
Nico Boesten: music & lyrics, acoustic guitar, vox, bgvs, fender rhodes, drum & synth programming
Shona Lynne: bgvs
David Swanson (Legend Studios): mixing & mastering, electric guitars, acoustic guitar, percussion, awesome sauce
Daniel Nevins: cover artwork “The Broken-Open Heart” – www.danielnevins.com
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